The Annual Poop Eating Contest
by MrKink
Summary: The company has a yearly poop eating contest for bonus raises. Read to see it in action!


There is a company tradition that you did not see in the show.

Michael: Ok, attention EVERYONE. I have smeared my poop all over the office. Do you know what that means?

Dwight: That it's time for the annual poop eating contest!

Stanley: I love the poop eating contest!

Pam: Me too!

Oscar: Me three!

Michael: So the rules are as same as last year. I've smeared my poop all over the office. Whoever eats the most gets a $1,000 raise!

Kate: Well what are we waiting for?

Ryan: Let's go!

So everyone in the office started running around and finding as much poop as they could to eat.

Pam: Looks like Michael hid a lot of his poop in the copier! I better eat it all.

Pam sticks her tongue into the copier but accidentally turns it on. The copier then pulls her tongue straight out of her mouth.

Pam: Oh no! I can never enjoy the sexy flavor of poop again!

Dwight: Let's check the closet where Michael Scott Paper Company used to be!

Dwight and Jim go downstairs to the office, when they find something amazing. Every single square inch of the office has been filled with Michael's poop.

Dwight: We've hit the jackpot!

Jim pulls out a knife and fork.

Jim: Let's eat!

The two dive head first in the solid block of poop and swim through it and continue to eat their way through it.

Meanwhile back upstairs.

Andy: I think there's a lot in Michael's office!

Andy runs into Michael's private office, and finds poop everywhere. It is very dark because Michael smeared his poop all over the windows.

Stanley starts breaking the computer, only to find poop inside of them. He then gobbles up all the poop he can find.

Phyllis finds a bunch of poop inside of her computer monitor. After breaking it, she throws it at the wall and finds that there is a lot of poop inside of the walls!

Phyllis: Everyone! There's a lot of poop in the walls!

Everyone in the office starts finding everything they possibly can to tear down the office walls. For instance, Stanley picks up and axe and breaks the walls. The office is a complete wreck right now. Poop and destruction everywhere.

Little did they know that they accidentally broke a gas pipe. They don't mind at first though, because the gas smells like farts to them. Some pipes were actually connected to toilets up stairs, so they waited for people up there to go to the bathroom and slurp down their poop right from the pipes.

Michael: Ok I'm back and WHAT IS THIS?!

Michael notices the broken gas pipe.

Michael: Ok we have to get out of here! But wait, they are having fun. Risk my life and eat poop or escape? Well the answer's obvious!

Michael joins the rest of the gang in eating their poop. While everyone in the entire office is covered in poop and eating it endlessly, the entire office starts to shake. Then it explodes, sending poop and people flying all over the city of Scranton. Almost every building in the entire city has poop on it now.

Eventually the team gets back together in front of what used to be Dudler Mifflin Scranton's Branch. The entire building is gone, what lies there is nothing but rubble and poop.

Michael: So... who won?

Stanley: We weren't counting how much poop was being eaten. We assumed you were.

Michael: Well guess what? That means you all tie and nobody gets the raise. See you all at work tomorrow.

Pam: There IS no work to go to.

Michael: I'll have this all fixed by tomorrow. Don't worry.

The next day, people start arriving and are shocked to see a brand new, brown building in place.

Dwight: How did this happen?

Michael: I reconstructed the whole building myself using nothing but my poop. That way you all can enjoy the sexy flavor and smell of poop every single day when you come to Duddler Mifflin!

Everyone cheers.

Pam: This is much better than a raise!

Suddenly, a man in a limo approaches. It's none other than Christopher Doherty, the mayor of Scranton, PA.

Christopher: Who did this marvelous piece of work and caused my entire city to be infested with poop?

Michael: I did!

Christopher: Thank you so much! I love poop and what you've done so much, I am changing the name of our city to Scat-on, PA. I also declare this city the poop capital of the entire world. Now everyone in the entire world will know how much our fair city loves poop! Let's all celebrate by running around the city and pooping on everything we see!

So the mayor and the employees of Dundler Mifflin ran around the city, pooping on various objects and smearing their poop all over it. Things got really stinky. As other people saw them do this, they decide to join in. Soon, the entire population of Scat-on, about 70,000 people, ran around pooping on everything. Scat-on was pretty much made of poop at this point and became a popular tourist attraction for people around the world, who wanted to see the poop capital. People couldn't resist eating the poop that was on the streets and buildings and everything else, but the locals didn't mind because there was enough poop to go around for everybody.

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END


End file.
